Wednesday, August 17, 2011

If Money Grew on Trees.....

Its been a very long time since I posted on here, but something tells me its time to start blogging again. Not for the sake of catching readers attention, but to just get some things off of my chest.

Another school semester starts on Monday and I am scared. I dont know really why I am scared, but I am.

Money is very tight here and it seems like every store I go in or every commercial on TV I feel like a kid at Christmas. Its sad to say, but I just want to go shopping without having to worry about money. I also want to have just one day without stress.

I feel like I am coming unraveled and I can not get some things under control. I feel guilt about some things, but yet at the same time relief.

I went out this evening and saw my dream cupcake maker! I WILL have this. I get the refund from my school in just a few short weeks and this is my first purchase, along with a book of decorating ideas. I am not looking to make myself independently rich, but I want to make cute cupcakes!!!

My wish for myself right now was that I was not so negative. I can be fine one moment and then just start thinking about things and feel out of control all over again. It makes me so scared, but its hard to talk about.

Hopefully a vacation will be on the books for me soon, but Im not holding my breath. I feel like last time I got my hopes up so much that I am still not recovered from that. It broke my heart to miss my family reunion, but more it broke my heart that I changed plans to go with my Dad to the reunion because I couldnt go with my boyfriend because of money and then Dad ended up in the hospital again. He is ok though and thats what counts.

I am going to make my introduction posts in my class..... also known as plugging myself to be something I really do not feel that I am.

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